This Mom thing is hard work.

Springy-dingy-doo, where are you? I need Vitamin D for me now...

FOR REAL!

When I looked out over the bay this morning, and couldn't see the island because of the SNOW, I about lost my ever loving MIND! Not only did it snow today, the temperature barely made it into the teens. I have Spring stuff to get done , gosh darn it!

This weekend, we had our first "naughty kid" moment. Like, legit naughty kid.When you home-school your kids, their friends are typically other home-schooled kids. The kids are not subjected to the inappropriate language and behaviors that traditionally- schooled kids are.

SOOOOO... while we were gone, the boys had some play-time with some other kids. When we got home, we were met with:
1.  The Lord's name being taken in vain...multiple times.  Like, every other sentence.
2. The "threat" of a "Coolie being Kicked"...but NOT with these words.
3. The directive that he was "A Big kid now" and could watch "REAL" cartoons...like Sponge Bob. [Sponge Bob will NEVER be deemed as a REAL cartoon in my book...at ANY age]

Well...The Dude got some MAJOR schooling from his Mama and Daddy this weekend.  Not only did he lose his previously earned movie at the theatre, he lost a play date, and movie night at home. What peeved me the most...even when corrected- he KEPT doing it! I couldn't believe it. The Dude is my kid that, when corrected, never does something again. This time around, it didn't matter what I took away...he kept it all going. Spitefully. uggggghhhhhh. He frustrated me SOOOOOOO much! It was seriously the LONGEST 3 days we have had in a LONG time. [Not to mention that I was REALLY looking forward to seeing the Muppets, just as much as he was.]

Just as I was about to really lose my cool, I took some quiet, God time for myself. After praying for some help...it HIT me. [God is awesome like that] I sat Jackson down, and with our family Bible, we re-read and discussed The 10 Commandments. Though these rules were handed down to Moses THOUSANDS of years ago- they still apply. They will ALWAYS apply. God has given us a pretty awesome life. All He asks is that we follow a few simple rules. The Dude FINALLY got it. He wasn't just disappointing and disobeying his mom and dad, he was disappointing and disobeying God.

So, what have we learned from this experience, you ask?
1. Fruit snacks with crazy dye were seriously created by the devil, himself.
2. A 5 year old really shouldn't hang out with an 11 year old.

... and lastly

3.  When ALL else fails, God will show you the way.   Even if your 5 year old was "Darning", "Oh Mying" and "!!!" Him for a few days. He forgives. I guess I can too. ;-)

{beBlessed} and Sweet Dreams

The Reason...

"...Give the Easter lily a reason to bloom."
 I LOVE this last line of a poem written by Rachel Hackenberg. I am working through her Lenten devotional book, Writing to God; 40 days of Praying with my Pen. While reading today's devotion, I found myself reading this line over and over.  GIVE the Easter lily a REASON to bloom.  That is powerful stuff!

GIVE and REASON. These 2 words stood out to me.
GIVE= GIFT
REASON= WHY
If we look at the 2 synonyms of the words that Rachel used in her poem. We can deduce the following question, WHY do we receive a GIFT?
There are many reasons. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, accomplishments...however, the root of the reason is LOVE.  We receive gifts from people who LOVE us.

I give you every seed bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.-  Genesis 1:29

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.-  Exodus 33:14

And let this gift, which your servant has brought to you my lord, be given to the men who follow you. -  
1 Samuel 25:27

But each man has his own gift from God... - 
1 Corinthians 7:7

For it is by grace you have been saved, through Faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the Gift of God. - Ephesians 2:8

God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.-  
John 3:16

The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and GAVE himself for me.- Galatians 2:20b

WOW.  I do believe that GOD loves us pretty darn much!



I'm going to get an Easter Lily. Every time I look at it, I will be reminded of how much God loves me and that he GAVE this flower a REASON to bloom.
Amen

{beBlessed} and have a GREAT Day!

Knowing when to say NO.

I have always been a “pleaser”.  There is probably some kind of astrological malarkey that dictates why that is. But, for all intensive purposes, that’s just who I am. Always have been.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted people to like me.  I wanted to be viewed as pretty.[let’s face it, I was NOT a cute elementary aged kid] I got ridiculous perms, begged for the significantly more expensive two toned acid washed jeans vs. the normal Levi’s and wore upwards of 4 pairs of socks daily to make sure that I looked as on trend, Kids Incorporated-esque as possible.  I was a foot taller than all the other girls, my braces were put on in 3^rd grade and I was fat. I know that in my efforts to “please” my peers and appear like them, I was only fueling the mockery that would ensue daily.

As I got older, I would make fun of others, so that I would seem “cool” to the “it crowd”. I would go home each day and feel TERRIBLE. Why would I want to make someone else feel the way that I was made to feel, too? It was a vicious cycle.

If I was asked to go to a friend’s house, I would ALWAYS say yes. If I was asked to sing at a wedding, or sporting event or party, I would ALWAYS say yes. If I was asked to work an extra shift in the kitchen, or to stay after school to alphabetize music, or tutor so-and-so in math, I ALWAYS said YES. I think my brain took the advice quote: “you shouldn’t ever burn bridges” to mean “you –must- do- everything- anyone- asks- you- to- do- or- you- will- make- them- hate- you- forever.”

Again, my willingness to PLEASE everyone, turned me in to the “yes, girl”

I am just now learning how to say NO. I am not very good at it, yet. In fact- I suck at it. I actually only ever say NO to my family. You see, THEY can’t drop me.  THEY can’t find another one of me. I belong to them, so they HAVE to like me, right? Not exactly.  It took a pretty extreme kick in the ass from my husband to bring this fact to light.

My turning point occurred, when he asked me if I would go with him to a conference.  I replied with, “let me get my calendar and see if I can hack it.”

He didn’t even let me get that far.

“What do you mean; you need to check your calendar?  If I am going, there is nothing important happening on the farm.  You won’t miss church and the kids will be with my Mom. What else is more important than spending time with me to make our business more successful?”

It hit me. Like a mother-flipping freight train. I was saying NO to my family, so that I could say YES to everyone else.  Yes to the play dates, Yes to the voice lessons, Yes to the musicals upon musicals that needed tweaking, coaching and directing. Yes to the articles to write. Yes to the event to plan. 

Yes. Yes. Yes!

When- at this stage in my life- it was time to start saying NO.

I have 3 boys under the age of 5. They are growing faster than I can keep up with.  Toting them along to rehearsals, where I am teaching other people’s kids, is no way for MY OWN kids to spend their youngest, formative years. I shouldn’t be attending every single concert, musical, sporting event and ceremony for other kids, when my own kids need me to start bringing them to their activities. I couldn’t tell my own kid No, to tell someone else’s kid, Yes.  I couldn’t keep working weekend evenings [for my own personal gain], when that is the only time left in the week to spend with the man who busts his ass to provide for me and our children all week.  I simply needed to say NO.

Talk about backlash!

I had parents write me nasty emails, telling me to “buck it up and work with their child”.

 I had kids beg me to go to this and that because I just HAD to see them do whatever they were doing.

And, as much as I LOVE supporting these kids, and adults and organizations- I needed to draw the line.  In a situation such as mine, it had to be all or nothing. I couldn’t pick and choose WHO was worthy of my YES. I had to ensure that the ONLY people who were going to receive my YES’s were the 4 people that lived under the same roof as me, and my church.

This doesn’t mean that I won’t attend events. It doesn’t mean that I won’t teach and coach ever again. But the rule of thumb that I am going with, right now, is that if my ENTIRE family can’t attend- we probably won’t be there. If at least one of my kids can’t participate or play- then I probably won’t be directing or coaching. The time that I DO have away from my children, NEEDS to be spent doing something for myself or with my husband. WHY?- Because, I need to have time to myself. If I am able to “get away” for a bit, I am going to do something for ME, With my friends or getting a massage or grabbing a coffee and a book.  Or, I will be with my husband.  My marriage is sacred.  It is important to me. It deserves my time, more than anything else.

There are some mom’s who “balance it all”, like Dumbo atop the stack of elephants in the circus! I tried to be that mom, but I realized that I don’t want to be her. I want to be the mom who puts God before all else, her husband next and her kids close behind.

{beBlessed} and think about WHO is getting your YES.

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Snow Day vs. Sick Day

Things around here have been a bit busy. I just sat down after the ‘feeding of the animals’ and realized that I have had ZERO time for myself to read, reflect or to write!

So, SNOW DAY induced cabin fever…I will use you to my advantage. I shall travel out across the world wide web and forge contact with other humans that way!

1^st and foremost, the Boombah is healed. The stitches did their job and I don’t think he will  have much of a scar. If he EVER grows any hair, it is sure to cover up the first of his battle wounds. He is on the couch next to me right now, trying to reach the keys and typity-type this himself. Mischievous,  cute and back to normal.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 are in bed. We had a FULL day INSIDE. Whoa. This INSIDE business is for the birds. They love to be outside and even the nicest portion of the day was met with 25mph winds. They played hard, built forts, built a farm,  had a concert as a rock band, planted seeds and rearranged their bedroom.

Yes, you read that correctly.  The Farmer was HOME. NOT because of the weather. (in all honesty, it really isn’t that bad out here)He was home today because he is SICK. He (and I) have the flu, we believe. Fever. Check. Aches. Check. HeadACHE. Check. All over malaise. Check.  A trip to the Emergency Department 5 days ago, left our baby sewn up and all better, but left us with a virus that incubated inside until it was ready to hit. And BOY did it HIT!

So, today, was not the typical snow day.  Daddy sat in his chair snuggled with his book, a cup of tea and rest.  Mama, on the other hand, didn’t sit down until about 5 minutes ago when I started writing this!

It’s funny, isn’t it? When a woman is sick, she is expected to forge ahead and fight it off.  When a man is sick, he curls into a ball, gets waited on hand and foot and wakes up as good as new the following morning after all the rest that he got!

For the record; His fever WAS higher than mine... by 1 degree, so I guess I was the “least sick” one and expected to take care of the 3 little hoodlums.

Though I feel pretty crummy and I’m a bit tired, I really didn’t mind.  Call me crazy.

These boys bring me so much joy. They are gifts.  Every day spent with them are gifts. Though I didn’t feel like myself today, and there wasn’t any dancing going on (on my part) I am thankful for the spunk, the love and the devotion these little hearts feel towards me. A matchbox car massage goes a LONG way on achy shoulders and neck.

My husband. This man whom God saved for me. My gift. He works SO hard for our family. He provides for us. He encouraged me to leave the work force to stay home to raise and teach our children. He comes home from a 14 hour day and plays with our babies, before they go off to bed. He wakes up early and goes to bed late…for US. His devotion to his wife and children, his respect for the land, and what it provide, his respect for all of creation,  given to us by God.  THIS, my friends, is a GOOD MAN.

Don’t let me paint a perfect, rosy picture, because it definitely is NOT…all the time. We fight. We disagree. We battle demons that try to sway our loyalties away from our God and from each other. BUT- when all is said and done. We regroup. We pray. And follow the Lord’s instructions.

“Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church”

“However, each one of you must also love his wife, as he loves himself.”

Ephesians 5:22,  33a

SO, as this man, who loves me unconditionally, reclines in his chair, asking our Lord to make him feel better. I am going to sign off of this thing. Get him a glass of ginger ale and pray that he feels better in the morning.

Psalm 46

Blessed are YOU

Everlasting Father

Save me from the Earthly desolation

Train my heart to trust YOU wholeheartedly

I

Love you completely,

Lord, God, Most High

From Adele Dazeem to a bloody mess...

WHAT a DAY! This morning began like any other normal day in the Farming Homestead Homeschool.  The boys trickled in to kiss me awake 1 by 1 and we had breakfast, morning devotions and we went to begin our school day.

I was having some copy machine malfunctions. After I noticed that one of the Dude’s journal prompts didn’t copy correctly, I decided to just make a few new copies. The big boys were singing…like SANGING out! The Boombah was singing along, noticeably knowing the lyrics just as well as his brothers.  Anyone want to guess which song they were singing???

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*”Let it Go!...by the incomparable Adele Dazeem (snicker)

“Mom, could you Pllllllleeeeeeeeaaaaaasssseeee play it for us? Pllllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssseeee!” I shrug.

I agree, “sure, we can do music first this morning." The copier was frustrating me anyway.

I grab my glass of water (this is key information) and sit down at the piano. I place my GLASS next to the music holder thingy and begin to play.

We all begin to sing

“The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen.  A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I’m the Queen….

***building***

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see….

…Well, now theeeeyyyy knooooooow.”

Bamp Bamp Bamp Bamp…FORTISSIMO on the piano

Apparently shaking it a bit too much and CRASH!

My water glass falls and knocks my little Boombah square on the head, and?

S-H-A-T-T-E-R-S!

Blood spurts, the Dude is gagging, Bubby is jumping around like a grasshopper on hot pavement and all I want is my phone to call the Farmer. Oddly, the only tears are those coming from the Dude, as he promptly gags with each request for my phone.

Fast forward- big boys with Grandma and the Farmer and I are off to the Emergency Department.

My Boombah was such a trooper! The doctor assured me that I was not a bad mother, that if this was the first ER trip, and this was my 3^rd boy, that I must be doing something ok.

 I blamed the government and their scare tactics urging me to purge my plastic and purchase heavy glass drinking containers. If I was still using my hot pink Tupperware cup we would NOT have been in the situation we were in today. ;-)

Looking back at my morning now, I can chuckle. I can thank the Lord Got almighty that my Boombah didn’t have a concussion, that glass didn’t get stuck in the wound, that we lived somewhat close to an efficient emergency department, and that I DIDN’T LOSE MY COOL.

Not once. No tears, at all (from me) I even laid on the bed and held my boy as they stitched him. I had Faith. Some of you are probably thinking, um, it was a couple stitch wound, why WOULD you have lost your cool. You knew he would be ok.

But you see, I have suffered from such debilitating anxiety and panic disorder that if this had happened 4 years ago, I would have probably gone into cardiac arrest. Seriously. Though medication got things under control initially, my FAITH, and PRAYER and daily relationship with God has KEPT me ok.  SO, my thanks not only go to the doctors, my 4 year old who hot potato danced to get me my phone from the charger, my 5 year old that provided me with belly laughs as we drove to the hospital (as I was remembering his reaction) my husband who came right home, but really didn’t need to, because I was ok. All of these thanks to my God.

My husband has been my crutch.  He has protected me. He has helped conceal my panic for so long. It is such a habit for him, I think, to immediately fly to the rescue and keep me ok. But, you know what?  I am ok. My amazing husband and my amazing God have made me, O.K.

On my agenda for the night(and weekend)…to keep my dog from licking my Boombah’s bandage, to keep my big boys from causing the Boombah to topple over, and  the BEST one: to keep a one year old “still” for 3 days. HA! I think I would have better luck wrangling a greased up pig!

{beBlessed} and have a GREAT evening!

Fat Tuesday detour...of the heart.

I have SO many things I could write about today. SO many.  But, my heart is speaking to me right now.  It is SCREAMING to me to talk about God. To let the world know how much I love Him.  How much I trust in Him. How much I offer it all to Him.  I Surrender ALL!

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the start of the Liturgical season of Lent. 40 days (not counting Sundays) that represent the time Jesus spent fasting in the desert being tempted by Satan.  The enemy tried SO hard to convince Jesus to fall to the norms of Earthly living, and each time he spoke, Jesus answered concisely, quoting His Father, and never gave in.

This Biblical battle between Good and Evil is similar to one that many of us fight every day.  Earthly temptations are representative of the evil the enemy consumes- and I use the word evil lightly.  Addictions (meaning ANYTHING your body craves and cannot live without. alcohol, drugs, food, sex, television etc), jealousy, power, vanity are all “evils”. And, the list could continue. I, myself, battle with every single thing on this list on a daily basis!!! It takes effort to let go of these temptations and let God take over. Goodness, sometimes as often as every MINUTE of every day, I am working on this. Man, I am working hard. I am addicted to food.  I love it, I want it, but I don’t always NEED it. I am praying to learn how to control this addiction. I feel jealousy sometimes. Sometimes a lot. I feel jealousy towards my friends who get to leave their house on a daily basis. Those that still have a disposable income.  Those that are still performing.  A jealous heart is not one to hold on to.  God tells us not to be jealous towards anyone. For in doing so, we are worshiping them and not Him, the ONLY one that we should be worshiping. I have a hard time with that. I sometimes have the NEED to be in charge, have the NEED to be the most beautiful…yet ALL of those things are not Godly things. But, I also know that I will NEVER achieve the perfection that turning the other cheek to all of these temptations would achieve.  I am not SUPPOSED to.  There was only one person who was without sin in God’s, eyes and that person already died for US, so that we may be forgiven for ALL of the MANY sins that we will commit during the course of our lives. What we must learn to do, however, is to ASK for forgiveness, welcome the Lord into our hearts and PRAY.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 says:

“Rejoice Always, PRAY CONTINUALLY, give THANKS in ALL circumstances, for this is GOD’s WILL for you in Christ Jesus”

Paul’s letters to the Thessalonians are beautiful. If you have never taken the time to read them, as letters, do so. They make me smile. They are little windows into the various houses of love that god has built for us.

I am not one to preach, because most often than not, I am guilty of every single thing that I would preach about. I don’t want you to take this as a “holier than thou” persona, because it is not. I guess I just wanted to share with you my personal struggle to live well in God’s eyes on a daily basis. And then, to hopefully encourage you to try and live better as well. God doesn’t just heal the sick, and forlorn. He has the POWER to heal your soul, if you ask Him.  But you MUST ASK.  You NEED TO PRAY.

I have written before, that God is the best pen pal that I have ever had. HE IS. Tomorrow, I will begin my journaling “challenge” using the book Writing to God; 40 Days of Praying with my Pen. Let me tell you, I am EXCITED. I have had to use crazy amounts of will-power to not start early! I am so excited to embrace this Lenten season and to Let Go…and Let God…WITH super doses of PRAYER.

Before I return to the craziness that the 3 Musketeers are creating right now, I would like to leave you with a prayer request.

There is a little boy in Clarence, NY.  His name is Ben Sauer. He is very sick with a giant brain tumor that instead of shrinking with treatment, is growing- quickly.  He has been given mere weeks to live. He is 4 years old, with 2 young siblings. This family believes in our Lord.  They believe is power of prayer and they have asked for some REAL PRAYERS WARRIORS to help them.  We don’t know the reason that God has given this tribulation to this family. But we DO know that the Almighty has a plan for something. He heals. It would be a TRUE MIRACLE if this little boy was healed. PLEASE PRAY FOR BEN, and for his family. My heart hurts for them. It absolutely aches. But I am praying. I am lifting it ALL  up to God.

The Grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ be with you all.

{beBlessed} and have a GREAT day!