A season of busy is WAY better than a season of PANIC.

Goodness, I am starting to think that there should be a 5th season and just call it BUSY!


First of all, whoever came up with the cockamamie idea that "Homeschooled children are anti-social and have no friends" is a doofus. Can I get an Amen, homeschooling, Mamas? I don't stop running!  Between playdates, field trips, our community homeschool group, sports and play practice...my kids are WELL socialized, and so am I.  Praise GOD!;-) As busy as we are though, I am thankful...because I few short years ago...I didn't even leave my house.

One of the hardest things for me to adjust to, when I left the "real world" and became at SAHM (or WORK at home Mom, as I like to note) The thing I missed the most was my friends.At the time, the only interaction I had during the day was an 18 month old baby and I was 7 months pregnant...during Apple Harvest! I missed having SOMEONE to talk to. I would put the Dude down for a nap, watch marathons of Jon and Kate +8  and talk to the television! (don't judge)
 I was alone.  Isolated, not only by geographic location, but because of my belief in raising my OWN children versus remaining in the work force to raise OTHER people's children.

 After having a preemie, I became neurotic. I have NO shame admitting that.  My doctor seriously called me that.  It wasn't post partum depression, like everyone and their brother wanted to label me as,  It was pure and simple, PANIC.

When you spend days and days sitting at the bedside of this little life that you have been growing inside you, as he has a tube down his throat, eating through another tube in his stomach with a giant needle providing medicine in his head, your brain goes places. Its really hard to explain. You think about scenarios that NO ONE should have to think about, and few actually have to live. I would pray for solace. I would pray for peace in my heart.  I would pray for healing. And, then I would find myself bargaining with God.  Like...if you let him get better, and grow stronger, I PROMISE to...

The first time I got to hold Philip.  2 days old.

After we were home and beginning to have some semblance of normalcy, my brain would STILL go to that ugly place. I didn't do ANYTHING outside of the house without my husband or mother. I didn't trust myself. Seriously.
I did't sleep.
I was constantly up, staring at my baby.  Making sure that he was breathing.
Making sure that we had clear route out of the house in case of a fire.
Making sure that there was an alternate route in case the 1st route was obstructed.
 Making sure that my phone was charged in case I had to leave quickly.
Where was a weapon? Was it l ready in case someone broke in to our home and tried to steal my children?
Where are my car keys, ok, I have the spare set here next to the bed in case I need to leave during the night. Shoot, I wasn't going to be the one to drive anywhere...I was scared of that too!

 I had pants, shoes and my purse at my bedside in case....in case...

In case of WHAT?



Why?

I can 100% tell you why.

I was WAY to worried about the "things" that could hurt us, instead of putting my FAITH in the ONE that would protect us.

I was a Christian then...but I wasn't Christian.
Did you catch that?

I was A Christian, but I wasn't Christian.

Sure, I went to church, I prayed, I did a devotional...but I wasn't committing my BEING to Christ. I wasn't giving my thoughts to Him.   I hadn't totally dedicated my LIFE to Him.

Does that make sense?

God has a way of guiding you, through His word and prayer -that only happens when you LET GO and LET GOD.  I know that you have heard that saying before, right?  And it is TRUTH!



We don't have control.  We can't predict the future...and HE doesn't want us to.  What He wants us to do is to TRUST Him. THIS, my dear friends, has been the hardest task I have ever had to do. I had a professor, during my pastoral studies, that gave us all this assignment. He said to us, "Unless YOU have completely given yourself to Christ, you could never guide anyone else to follow His path" It was time to give up the WORLD and give in to the Creator of It All.

Know what?  It has been the BEST task that I have ever completed. Today, almost 5 years since the early birth of my middle man, Philip, I can say with 100% conviction, I am still HERE because I trusted God.

Are YOU ready to put your trust in Him?  I promise you, you won't regret it.

Great is His faithfulness. His mercies are new, EVERY morning.
lamentations 3:23




{beBlessed} and have a GREAT day!

Ya Ya NO MORE!

Ya’ll-  I just quit a support group. Yup.  You read that correctly.  Straight up quit.  I emailed the mediator, asking her to please remove me from all future mailings and meet-up invitations and didn’t give a reason.

My reason? Hmm. Well- if I had given a reason, well, I guess it probably would have been more fuel for the fire. MY reason for quitting is crazy.  It is absurd.  It is really awkward to describe.  My reason for quitting, is because the community that I had hoped to find within this group was not a community AT ALL.  There was NO hand-holding-bonding-love like the picture up there. 

Yes, It’s title was “Christian Homeschool Mom’s of XYZ”  [I won’t call them out…I will respect them in this realm]…but this title was NOT all encompassing.  These ladies were:

1.Moms...CHECK

2.Home schooling their children...CHECK

3.Christian…NOT SO SURE

Let’s rewind a few days.

A Mommy-lady posted a question to the group’s online forum :

“How many of you allow your children to wear costumes and dance with the devil?”

…I, obviously, knew that she was referring to Halloween, and truly thought that she was being humorous…maybe a bit sarcastic. {“have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?” – Jack Nicholson as the Joker in the BEST version of Batman} I kind of chuckled at it, actually.

WELL…what began after that question, was U-G-L-Y.

Every single Mother who innocently answered the initial question was returned with:

·        What denomination are you?

·         Do you realize the history of this “ritual”?

·         Do you really believe in Jesus? (seriously?)

·         Do you know that you are going to go to Hell? (WOW…seriously?)

I, abstained, from partaking in this bullying of women BY women who proclaim to be “Christian Women”. [AND IT TOOK RESTRAINT TO DO THAT]

Over the next few days, the topic of conversation was not that of actual SCHOOLING our children, or CURRICULUM, but turned into who was which denomination, and then which denomination was the REAL Christianity etc… It was U_G_L_Y!

I didn’t even want to let me heart get involved in such negativity and evil…that was supposedly spoken in the name of our Lord? [Again, I know, I know, I could have taken this as an opportunity to speak  some truth and spread some love…but honestly, the “instigator” Mommy-Lady  scared me and I didn’t want to get involved]

So…I let things go.

WELL.  Last night, I fell asleep with all of my babies on my bed, after their bath and reading bunches and bunches of books. {my FAVORITE way to fall asleep}  My poor husband slept in the spare bed, as my little tribe and I lay sprawled across our bed.  I woke up at around 3am, and went to find my dear husband who was sound asleep. I, however, couldn’t fall back to sleep.  My mind was racing and amidst my thoughts of harvest, which apples I needed to replenish on the stand, how I wanted to tackle making my Bubby’s Shark-Boy costume, and then…this horrible feeling of missed opportunity to minister and guide some {obviously} hurting ladies- came over me. I could have helped them. I could have tried to deflect the negative and bring it back to Jesus. But, I didn’t. I quit instead. I let FEAR take over.

But…I’m going to take the opportunity, now, to say what I would have said.

Jesus Loves EVERYONE.

Jesus is the ONLY way into heaven.

NO human could EVER condemn ANYONE to hell.

Christianity has many facets. It has many denominations.

Similar to the worlds languages (which the LORD created when he forbid the Tower of Babel to be built), as Christianity has spread and grown and changed and reformed and gone back to its most primitive, original form.- There are MANY differences in the practices and daily walk of all Christians.

I guarantee that my walk with Jesus is different than yours, is different than the family I sit next to in worship on Sunday, heck, I GUARANTEE that my walk is different, yet, to my husbands! That is why we are all individuals! God gave us ALL free will…BUT, with that- He gave us the tools necessary to survive this crazy ride called life, and ALSO gave us the KEY to unlock the door to His kingdom. How we choose to navigate the route to the Kingdom gates is ours and OURS alone.  NO ONE, human or not, other than the Great God Almighty,  our Lord Jesus Christ or the Spirit can condemn ANYONE. We, as a people, need to STOP DOING IT!

SPEAK LIFE. SPEAK LOVE.  SPEAK TRUTH.

I have said over and over again, this month, that I am going to SPEAK LIFE!!!

Maybe that is why I held my tongue when this all went down?  They say that once you do something 14 times in a row it becomes habit. Today is the 23^rd, that means that for the last 23 days I have not spoken ill of, nasty to, and prayed for my adversaries.

 I pray that we, as Christians-

-Whether we are Non-Denominational, Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian,Catholic, Assembly of God, Messianic Christians,  7^th Day Adventists etc.

- whether we are blue, green, purple or red

- whether we are married, divorced, single or widowed

- whether we have children or not- whether we attend worship as part of a church family, or if we worship alone with a bible in our bedroom.

WE ARE FOLLOWERS OF CHRIST.

WE must love one another as HE LOVES US! 

We need to stop judging each other by who is a “Better” Christian. Who practices the correct holidays.  Who gives more money to what charity.  Who does better mission work. Who loves Jesus more.  It is not OUR call. It is not OUR job.  It isn’t remotely in our job description here as an earth dweller.  GOD is the judge.

We need to  work on becoming a peaceful union to GROW our church.  

WE are the CHURCH. 

It’s not a building.  It’s not a denomination. It’s not a pastor. WE, as Christians, are the church. Things in the world are getting ugly. The end times are near. It may not be in our lifetime, it may not be in our kids’ lifetime, but MAN, don’t you want to make the CHURCH stronger for our future?

 For our grandchildren? 

For our great- grandchildren. 

For ourselves?

Speak Life.

Support each other. Love one another. GROW our CHURCH!

Amen.

{beBlessed} and have a GREAT day!

Dani

"And greater is the One living inside of me than he who is living in the world."-Mercy Me