DATE NIGHT!

I am SO excited to FINALLY have a DATE with my husband!  The Boombah is 1…I have not left him to do anything “fun”…YET! I am so looking forward to a grown-up movie(although the FROZEN sing-along version WOULD be the ultimate…I do love my husband though), in the comfy –chair- theatre, with a popcorn all to myself and raisinettes and, and, and…

BUT…this “date” is not the one I want to share with you. I had THE BEST DATE last night…with my 4 year old.

At dinner, we told the boys that they were going to have a fun night with Grandma. When they asked “why?”, we BOTH exclaimed, “ Date Night!”  (Ya think we need one?) The Dude then asked, “what’s a date?”  So we explained that it was when 2 people who loved each other, went to spend time together just the 2 of them.  That sometimes they went out to dinner, sometimes they would go to movies and that mommy and daddy really like going to the book store together. WELL…what happened next is something that just may melt my heart every time I think about it…forever.

Bubby, in his 4 year old bentoutofshapebecauseheisn’tthebabyanymorevoice, “Mama, can you go on a date with me? Cuz I love you and you love me so we can have a date night” OH MY STARS, be still my heart!

He asked to be excused and went to get our “date” ready.

20 minutes later, I was sitting in the playroom, with popcorn watching Planes. {you KNOW I must love my kid to sit through that…HUGE mistake Pixar….HUGE} The Farmer and the other boys were in the Living Room, so I had my sensitive, sweet, blue-eyed boy ALL TO MYSELF!  We snuggled, he told me all about how he thinks we need to get a crop duster, he held my hand and he drifted off to slumber with his Mama ALL to himself.

After I brought him upstairs and tucked him snuggly into his bed, I got thinking. I am the oldest of 2 girls.  I got to do things because I was the oldest,  Sissy got to do things because she was the youngest. I had no prior knowledge of how the middle-child felt.  THEN…I started to cry.

WE all have moments of Mommy guilt, when we feel like we just aren’t doing these little hearts justice.  That God gave us these precious souls to nurture and grow and we just weren’t footin’ the bill! I was having one of those moments.

My Bubby, my middle baby, WAS my baby…my youngest…my preemie… myneedmemorethanmostbabies would for THREE YEARS boy, and then BOOM…The Boombah  is born and his little world was ROCKED.

My Bubby was born about 7 weeks early, he was immediately admitted to the NICU and intubated  and I. was. HELPLESS.  It was at that moment, when this lifelong Christian became a REAL Christian. [that is a completely different story] The ONLY thing I COULD do, was pray. That goes against every motherly instinct the good Lord gives us. I wanted to HOLD him [which didn’t happen right away] I wanted to nurse him [which didn’t happen for a LONG time] I just wanted to be his Mommy, I wanted him to ONLY need me. That took awhile.

 SO….fast forward to NICU graduation, and I became the DOEVERYTHINGIPOSSIBLYCANTOMAKETHISBABYHAPPYHEALTHYANDPERFECT  Mommy.  I developed panic disorder…{YES. Clinically and medicated…but, again, a completely different story} I never slept, I tried to become a super-hero in the name of love for my children.

 I had my 2 babies. I had resigned from my job so that I could be home to raise them and I became MOMMY…only Mommy.  My almost 2 year old Dude, was just as loved and cherished as my Bubby-Baby...BUT he was strong, he was sturdy, he was HEALTHY, so my “babying” definitely went to Bubby.

Fast forward to 2013:

The Boombah is born.

 The Dude comes to rehearsals with me…he has even performed in a couple of shows already.  He gets special time with me…ALL the time.

The Boombah has had my every waking moment that I wasn’t working.  Nursing takes up A LOT of time.  ALL of that time that USED to be spent…with Bubby.

My Bubby-Baby. Was told to leave his brother alone, to stop acting crazy, to go back to bed over and over and over at 1 am at 2 am at 3 am. To go take a nap, go play with your tractors, to go to go to go!

WOW. He has been lost in the shuffle.

Not anymore. I am going to schedule dates with my middle child- even if they are just in the other room. HE needs to have special time with me, just like my husband needs to have special time with me.

Being a Mommy is seriously, the hardest friggin job in the world.  However, as hard as it is, I wouldn't trade it for the world.               

“She is clothed in strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  Her children arise and call her BLESSED, her husband also, and he praises her.”

~Proverbs 31: 25-28

I foresee a plethora of tractor movies in my future.

{beBlessed} and have a GREAT day!