Everybody needs a little time, some times.

Have any of you ever thought about running away?

Not like, load your back-pack and ride your bike down to the Goondocks run away- but like running away screaming and yelling for something to change?

I have this feeling too often, lately.

I'm tired. I'm sick of this weather. I've been "sick" for months. My kids are stir crazy. I live in the sticks and am surrounded by people that I am not very fond of, and Spring seems to be hibernating still.

I'm over worked, under appreciated and in desperate need of change. But...how?  What? Where?

I have 3 little loves that depend on my to be their dancing monkey from sun-up to sun-down. [Or, more specifically, in my 4 year olds case...from 3am- Sun-down.]

I have a husband who busts his ASS- trying to keep this business flourishing, and relevant and one that he can be proud of. He is gone, at work, from sun-up to sun-down.

We don't have a disposable income. I can't leave my babies with crazy awesome nannies that take them to the park and buy them cotton candy, while I go massage my aching muscles and get my toes painted pink. No...my kids HATE to be away from me, and my oldest has made me PROMISE him that I will NEVER leave him again.  Seriously? Flipping, super.

The ONLY time I get for ME...is with a cup of tea, my journal and my Bible. The ONLY time. I do not use the bathroom alone, I do not shower alone, I do not get dressed alone, I do not walk the dog alone, I do not cook alone, I do not blow my nose alone, I do not sleep alone...

It's funny...for me to feel complete, I need to be ALONE.
Not all the time, not even half the time...just some time, please?

and then?...I remember.

Psalm 40:1-4a

I waited patiently for the Lord, 
He turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock.
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth
a hymn of praise to my God.
Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.
Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust.

I trust in Him. 

Though I long to be "alone", I never want to be TRULY alone. My Lord is with me always, and I never want that to change.

{beBlessed} and goodnight.